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I’d never been to an advertising fair before, so I didn’t really know what to expect. Presumably some people would try and sell me some stuff, which I guess I was open to—as long as it was really cool stuff and they were selling it for nothing.

I wasn’t even sure what I was in the market for from advertising. I mean, I had nothing to advertise except my unique collection of cat antiquities—and to be honest I didn’t think there were too many people in the market for those. But I pressed on through the massive crowd of people looking for the best way to sell their businesses or to sell their souls.

As I looked from stall to stall, advertisement to advertisement, I was stopped by an unusual guy who had a podium set up that read simply: “Outdoor Advertising”, but with no other discernible indication as to what that entailed.

“Are you intrigued?” came his simple question. I looked around to see if it was, in fact, me he was talking to. When I saw no one else in the vicinity I decided that there was no one else he could have been asking, and so I cautiously wandered over to him.

“I suppose I am,” I replied. “What is this form of advertising?” I asked, a little perplexed at the sight of nothing.

“It’s the outdoors, my friend.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s simply using the outdoors to do your advertising for you. The grass, the trees, the sky, the animals.”

“Well that sounds cool. But how do you control it?”

“You don’t.”

“You don’t?”

“Nope. That’s the surprise of outdoor advertising, you never quite know what the advertising will be.”

“Probably nothing I would have thought, given that nature and has nothing to do with advertising.”

“So would you rather pay for it with cash or card?”

“Yeah, I’m going to go with neither.”

And with that I knew, there literally was no form of advertising that made any sense.